Despite the near constant rainfall we get during summer lately, there are the occasional blasts of hot, sun-filled days. This of course necessitates drinking outdoors. How and where you choose to do so is, of course, up to you. But in the interests of fun and lack of fines, here’s a quick how-to for fuelling your potential public shame.
Beer: Tall cans, bottles and six packs are almost always the leader for your camping adventure, rafting trip or day at the baseball diamond. It’s a beer league for a reason. As an added plus, the crisp, cool aluminum or dark, cold bottle can be great to hold against your face on a sweltering day.
Pros: Plenty to share, lots of different options for every palette. Empties will easily make a homeless guy’s day.
Cons: Can be spotted by almost any even semi-experienced police officer or those who wish they were (by-law, security, teetotaling do-gooders). The heart break of having to possibly dump out or surrender 90% of an unused six pack.
Water Bottle: Not just for hiking or proper hydration in a desiccating office environment. Also, as opposed to the above mentioned six packs, perfect camouflage unless your slurred speech and swayed feet have given you away.
Pros: Can hold up to a litre of your favourite booze or combinations. No one expects it to do so either.
Cons: It’s only one step up from being 16 and putting vodka in a Sprite bottle.
Wine Skin: Deliciously and ridiculously European. If you have Old World grandparents, see about inheriting theirs as the goats bladder/leather combo is infinitely cooler than the modern plastic and rubber versions.
Pros: Works like a charm for wine, either white or red. Or any other drink of your choice.
Cons: Not vegan. Totally obvious that you’ve got a bag full of booze. All the damn hippies in the festival or park will want to talk to you about where you go it and how they’ve always wanted one but haven’t bothered to put in the effort to get one and, hey man, can they have a sip?
Hip Flask: There is simply nothing more rock and roll or totally bad ass than a good hip flask. Infinite variations abound, from belt buckles to smaller ones concealed in socks to the traditional flask. My personal favourite is my flask that holds both whiskey and a cigar of my choice.
Pros: You basically have the pocket version of Lemmy from Motörhead as a drinking buddy. No one will turn down an offer to drink from your flask — or even ask for what it’s in it before they do.
Cons: Cheaper (made in China) versions fall apart quickly. Also will bring your stash up to either body temperature or worse, the actual temperature, extremely quickly, so invest in a decent one. You will never be able to convince a security guard during a pat down that it’s a water bottle.
By Spencer BrownAB, Alberta