BEATROUTE BC E-EDITION

British Columbia

Recent
Japanese Breakfast Is Killing It Softly

Japanese Breakfast Is Killing It Softly

By Mathew Wilkins VANCOUVER – Two months following the release of an enormously strong sophomore album Soft Sounds From Another…

, , , ,
Ad

Beatroute BC on Instagram

  • TOPS  imperialvancouver mrgconcerts
  • MRG Concerts West is bringing symlmusic to thecultch on Janhellip
  • pupthband killed it last night at the voguetheatre for Nighthellip
  • laurajanegraceAgainst Me! were in top form last night at thehellip
  • Still feelin a bit wavvy from westwardfest this past weekendhellip
  • TENDER ticket giveaway! Tag a friend  email us athellip
  • Having a v nice time at westwardfest w cdaydreamz andhellip
  • We are getting amped for Westward Music Festival only ahellip
  • Happy westwardfest Vancouver! The last time puptheband ripped through ourhellip
Ad
Ad
Ad

KEEPIN’ IT SLEAZY: AUGUST 2012

Monday 06th, August 2012 / 13:40

WEIRD SEX FACTS FOR THE DINNER TABLE

I have two great passions: the pursuit of knowledge and, of course, sex. Naturally, combining these two passions is an appealing prospect, so I’ve compiled a list of fascinating sex-related trivia. Learning is such fun, right?!

1. One report claims that 48% of women have faked an orgasm at least once, but what’s even more interesting is that male participants in the study claimed the exact same numbers. You. Fucking. Morons. People who fake orgasms don’t deserve real orgasms. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and tell them how to get you there. Dummies.

2. As early as 1850 BC, ladies were attempting to practice birth control. Historical methods of birth control include insertion of a honey and crocodile dung concoction into the coochie, using lemons as cervical caps and drinking mercury. Be grateful for latex condoms and oral contraceptives, even if they don’t make your junk smell lemony fresh.

3. The global average size of an erect penis is between five and six inches. Still, studies have shown that about 48% of men wish their dicks were bigger, and with good reason. A study on women’s preferred size indicates that the majority of women consider a length of seven to eight inches ideal. Congratulations, boys, your crippling insecurities were founded all along.

4. A survey by Lustability.com states that Caucasian women with a college degree are more likely than other women to engage in anal sex. Ass worshippers, use this information wisely.

5. At the moment of male ejaculation, the initial spurt travels at approximately 28 miles per hour and can shoot as much as two feet.

6. In Indiana, it is illegal to have a moustache if the bearer “has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.” I guess Hoosiers aren’t down with the moustache rides.

7. One survey determined that 60% of non-smoking women reported having no sexual partners in the past year, while 70% of women who do smoke reported having four or more partners in that same year. Either that whole thing about smoking not being sexy is a big ol’ lie, or us lady smokers are all hussies.

8. A study by Durex claims that 39% of Canadians own at least one vibrator, smashing the global average of 27%. On the other hand, we’re well behind Iceland where vibrator ownership is at 52%. Fuck yeah, Iceland!

9. Mystery finally (maybe) solved! Many linguists believe that the term “blow job” comes from the phrase “blow off”, referring to both the act of ejaculation and the concept of “blowing off some steam.” As in, getting your dick sucked is a very relieving experience.

10. The dolphin has a retractable, prehensile penis. As in, a male dolphin could theoretically use its dick like a hand. Think about that the next time you feel like swimming with dolphins.

It’s unlikely that you’re ever going to need the above information as a contestant on Jeopardy, true, but you now have some awesome statistics to spew out when you’re drunk at the bar. Enjoy!

By E-Z Breezy
Illustration: Jarett Sitter

,

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE:

BeatRoute.ca is a member of Apple Music's Affiliate Program. This site collects commissions on purchases that our site's readers decide to make from Apple Music/iTunes affiliate embeds and hyperlinks provided in our posts.

Search

BEATROUTE AB E-EDITION

Alberta

Recent
Buckout Road: Creepy Urban Legend Delves Into Dream Sequences  

Buckout Road: Creepy Urban Legend Delves Into Dream Sequences  

  By Philip Clarke  CALGARY – When Aaron Powell (Evan Ross) returns home to his small town after several years away in the military, he’s disappointingly…

, ,
Ad

Beatroute AB on Instagram

  • Really everyone on this record has a little piece ofhellip
  • Did you see our Facebook Gallery of Edmonton Folk Musichellip
  • CONTEST Win tix for spoonthebands YEG Aug 30 YYC Aughellip
  • This Labour Day weekend the Major Minor Music Project hellip
  • The Mad Caddies talk about making music touring with thehellip
  • Arcade Fire Everything Now review is up on the sitehellip
  • Meet Sister Ray Elle Coyes musical alterego Learn more abouthellip
  • You can win tickets to this event by clicking thehellip
  • Check our latest cover for September 2017! Cover story onhellip
Ad
Ad