BEATROUTE BC E-EDITION

British Columbia

Recent
VIDEO PREMIERE: Winona Forever – “Heads or Tails”

VIDEO PREMIERE: Winona Forever – “Heads or Tails”

by Lauren Donnelly VANCOUVER – It’s hip, it’s laid-back, it’s so aesthetically pleasing it feels like something Wes Anderson could…

Ad

Beatroute BC on Instagram

  • Contemporary artist Brent Wadden beautifully weaves together the traditional andhellip
  • Theyre red! Theyre fangy! Theyre RED FANG! And theyre playinghellip
  • Pat yourselves on the back everybody world famous comedian Stevenhellip
  • Andy Fields interactive show Lookout forces us to think abouthellip
  • All across the Boomiverse and in to your headphones Outkastshellip
  • Winona forever released a new single called Heads or Tailshellip
  • Check out braidraptly in their new video for Fruitless online!hellip
  • Comedian Adam Lazarus is just one of the many performershellip
  • Kyle Rideouts Adventures in Public School tells the tale ofhellip
Ad
Ad
Ad

KEEPIN’ IT SLEAZY: JANUARY 2013

Monday 07th, January 2013 / 22:58

KeepinItSleazy_cr-JarettSitterRESOLUTIONS WE CAN ALL GET BEHIND

January marks the part of the year where we make solemn vows to ourselves to get it together: work out more, eat healthier, travel, get a better job, quit smoking, lay off the sauce, save a quantity of babies and maybe also kittens from a burning building. Some of these resolutions we keep, many we don’t, but there’s always 2014, right?

Or, as an alternative, 2013 could be the year you choose a sexy new year’s resolution — much easier to keep than actually kicking a bad habit or going to the gym and all of the available science suggests that a great sex life tends to unleash positivity on all other areas of your life. So, without further ado, a few suggestions for new year’s resolutions that you won’t want to forget about come February.

Treat yourself to things that make you feel sexy. Shell out the extra cash for silky undergarments, or new toys, or the fancy lube that costs so much you feel like it should also know how to make you pancakes. You’re worth it and people who feel sexy have more sex. It’s a fact, so celebrate your junk this year.

Masturbate more. Make sure you commit time out of your busy day working or rescuing kittens/babies to jerk it. If you aren’t into touching yourself between one and 26 times a week, how can you expect somebody else to be up for it?

Enjoy being single. If you’re in a relationship, good for you, or whatever. If you’re not, celebrate your singledom! Relish in the knowledge that if Angelina Jolie or the pretty boy from that movie about strippers wants to have sex with you, the world is your oyster, and you may seize life by the genitals and meet new people or have sex with attractive musicians or whatever else floats your boat. When it doubt, remember: What Would EZ Breezy Do? (WWEBD)

If you are in a relationship, commit to improving your sex life. “But, EZ Breezy,” you might find yourself saying, “I already have a terrific sex life with my spouse(s)/partner(s)/boyfriend(s)/girlfriend(s)/vibrator(s)!” To that, I respond with the following: get creative, don’t be lazy, and there is always something new and exciting or something that could be done more often/harder/faster/slower/in a bathtub full of lime jello, and so on, so forth. You shouldn’t settle for bad sex, but neither should you stop trying to improve your sex life with your partner just because you hit good or even great.

Finally, remember that New Year’s or not, there is no bad time of year to start thinking about what you can do to improve your life. Sex just happens to be a really great way to start the process.

By E-Z Breezy
Illustration: Jarett Sitter

,

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE:

BeatRoute.ca is a member of Apple Music's Affiliate Program. This site collects commissions on purchases that our site's readers decide to make from Apple Music/iTunes affiliate embeds and hyperlinks provided in our posts.

Search

BEATROUTE AB E-EDITION

Ad

Beatroute AB on Instagram

  • Weve never really been explicit with our goals Its alwayshellip
  • We made a little mix for you to check outhellip
  • Your new favourite breakout pop duo Partner are bringing surginghellip
  • We love some angry feminist punk! You better be athellip
  • Happy Friday pals! Who are you seeing tonight at bigwinterclassic?hellip
  • Weve got issues How about you?  Join us forhellip
  • This month we bring you experimental electronic music the hottesthellip
  • January 2018 issue coming in hot with partnerband featured onhellip
  • Read our review of Young Jesuss album ST in thehellip
Ad
Ad