BEATROUTE BC E-EDITION

British Columbia

Recent
Japanese Breakfast Is Killing It Softly

Japanese Breakfast Is Killing It Softly

By Mathew Wilkins VANCOUVER – Two months following the release of an enormously strong sophomore album Soft Sounds From Another…

, , , ,
Ad

Beatroute BC on Instagram

  • MRG Concerts West is bringing symlmusic to thecultch on Janhellip
  • Happy westwardfest Vancouver! The last time puptheband ripped through ourhellip
  • TOPS  imperialvancouver mrgconcerts
  • pupthband killed it last night at the voguetheatre for Nighthellip
  • Still feelin a bit wavvy from westwardfest this past weekendhellip
  • laurajanegraceAgainst Me! were in top form last night at thehellip
  • TENDER ticket giveaway! Tag a friend  email us athellip
  • Having a v nice time at westwardfest w cdaydreamz andhellip
  • We are getting amped for Westward Music Festival only ahellip
Ad
Ad
Ad

KEEPIN’ IT SLEAZY: MARCH 2013

Monday 11th, March 2013 / 22:20

Keepin It Sleazy - Jarett SitterPUTTING PERSPECTIVE BACK INTO THE CONVERSATION

Human beings are pretty cool creatures: the sheer amount of physical variance in terms of colouring, height, weight, shape, etc. from person to person is pretty much unheard of in any other species. However, one of the stranger ways we vary is in genital size. Doesn’t it make evolutionary sense to have a one-size-fits-all standard in that particular area? Don’t we have enough areas of our body to feel insecure about without worrying about an inadequate penis or a wide-set vagina? And make no mistake, no matter how many times she assures you that “It’s not the size, it’s how you use it,” or he maintains radio silence on the state of your vagina because that’s not even a thing people discuss, size does matter.

According to some data, in spite of the fact that the average size of a man’s penis is in the neighbourhood of 5.75 inches long and 3.9 inches in circumference, women report the perfect penis size at 8 inches by 6 inches. Not only is that a huge deviation from realistic expectations about size, but it means that there are only a handful of perfect dicks out there.

Conversely, everything the populations of men on the Internet who spend time talking about such things have to say about vaginas comes down to notion that there are a few that are too tight, a few that are too loose and the rest of them are perfect. Actually though, women vary as much inside as men. This raises the question of why men are constantly comparing their junk and women are perpetually discussing dick size in hushed tones over cosmopolitans (because girls totally do that, right?), but we never talk about lady parts the same way. I have three theories about why this may be.

Penis size is equated with masculinity and we live in a society where that is encouraged among men, whereas a woman rarely has her femininity called into biological question, unless she is unable to bear children.

Many straight men are slobbering fools when it comes to spending time with the ladies, so they just look at a vagina and think, “Warm! Wet!” and are contented.

The most likely answer, however, is that because the vagina and accompanying bits and pieces are largely internal, we never have to think about it. We take for granted the fact that our vaginas are probably about the right, normal size because we have no basis for comparison and if you’re generous enough to let someone have access to yours, they will rarely offer a commentary on the relative merits of your lady-flower.

One of the most aggravating things about this entire debate is the fact that you’re pretty much stuck with what you’re born with, short of taking the surgical route. I guess the important thing to take from this is that if you have a tiny penis, you should probably go to work on being a really nice, funny person.

By EZ Breezy
Illustration: Jarett Sitter

,
  • “women report the perfect penis size at 8 inches by 6 inches. Not only is that a huge deviation from realistic expectations about size, but it means that there are only a handful of perfect dicks out there.” — That made me laugh waaaay too loud. Thanks for helping me wake the neighbors!

AFFILIATE DISCLOSURE:

BeatRoute.ca is a member of Apple Music's Affiliate Program. This site collects commissions on purchases that our site's readers decide to make from Apple Music/iTunes affiliate embeds and hyperlinks provided in our posts.

Search

BEATROUTE AB E-EDITION

Alberta

Recent
Buckout Road: Creepy Urban Legend Delves Into Dream Sequences  

Buckout Road: Creepy Urban Legend Delves Into Dream Sequences  

  By Philip Clarke  CALGARY – When Aaron Powell (Evan Ross) returns home to his small town after several years away in the military, he’s disappointingly…

, ,
Ad

Beatroute AB on Instagram

  • CONTEST Win tix for spoonthebands YEG Aug 30 YYC Aughellip
  • Check our latest cover for September 2017! Cover story onhellip
  • You can win tickets to this event by clicking thehellip
  • The Mad Caddies talk about making music touring with thehellip
  • Really everyone on this record has a little piece ofhellip
  • Meet Sister Ray Elle Coyes musical alterego Learn more abouthellip
  • Arcade Fire Everything Now review is up on the sitehellip
  • This Labour Day weekend the Major Minor Music Project hellip
  • Did you see our Facebook Gallery of Edmonton Folk Musichellip
Ad
Ad