Get It On: The politics of rebounding

Tuesday 09th, September 2014 / 15:19
By Jess Panther
Photo: Margarit Ralev, retrieved from

Photo: Margarit Ralev, retrieved from

CALGARY — Had you asked me if I would be writing a sex column a month ago, I probably would have replied with a laugh and a sigh and then exclaimed, “I wish!” It’s no secret that I enjoy a good fuck story and make entirely inappropriate sexual innuendos on a regular basis. Beyond that, I’ve always toyed with the idea of having more of an outlet through which to dig into a deeper and more profound, albeit fun, conversation with people about their (and my) sexuality. So, here it is: my first crack at stripping down, baring it all and sharing my slut pride with you, Calgary.

With that, if there was ever a season for rebound sex, it’s definitely summer. The spring flings are reaching their breaking point, and it’s been too hot for any of us to really want to keep our clothes on. The end of any relationship is never easy, but when there is more eye candy on the streets than you’ve seen in a while, it sometimes just makes sense to want to jump back in the saddle as soon as a suitable ride presents itself.

There are surely a myriad of ways that people often go about dealing with the hurt that might follow a relationship that’s run its course. Even the toughest amongst us can admit that it stings a little. Whatever you prefer, there is no set-in-stone way to get over an ex. What it comes down to is what works best for you and whatever you’re the most comfortable with in those moments. And in time, it will just seem like a moment.

For the sexually spry amongst us, going out and getting down and dirty with someone new and (hopefully) exciting can sing its own siren-like song. Despite having been completely devoted and loving to previous partners, there’s likely been a hot number or two that’s caught your eye from time to time. I’m here to say, that that’s OK too! The “walk of shame” shouldn’t have to be shameful.

Rebound sex isn’t by any means uncommon. I would go so far as to say that more people look to get back under the sheets earlier in their post-breakup regime than they might be willing to admit openly. However, there seems to be an odd stigma that surrounds the whole idea of engaging in promiscuous activities so soon outside of a relationship.

From one standpoint, rebounding can aid in the process of moving on. It can be a liberating experience and may even distract from the lonely feelings that might accompany the single status. If you’re anything like myself, having some dashing stranger show interest only encourages that sexy confidence that adds a little skip in your step.

The withdrawal of not feeling the touch of another human being sets in after a while and we can all relate to that. So, what better way to up your endorphins than a good roll-around in the sack? If that’s the kind of thing that’s up your alley, I say go for it and don’t let the pressures of anyone else make you feel bad. Whatever your process, this somewhat in-limbo period is an opportunity to discover and develop.

At the end of the day, rebound sex is a crossover from something comfortable and familiar to something fresh, exciting and maybe a little scary. Whether this newfound sexual liberation is to help you move on or to help you explore, allow yourself to enjoy the journey for you.

Before I sign off for the first time, I would like to wish EZ Breezy the best as she heads down her own separate path. I’m sure all of the Keepin’ It Sleazy followers who are reading this now are sad to see her go. With that in mind, I think the enthusiasm expressed in her column will carry on to inspire this one as we embark into a new relationship. Here’s to the old, and the new.

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