By Michelle Hanley
Cactus Club Burrard
On one sunny afternoon, I decided to stop by The Cactus Club to enjoy their patio and their happy hour specials. This particular location is in the heart of the financial district and is frequented by many well dressed, suburban businessmen and their hot dates from SeekingArrangements.com
After five too many peach bellinis, a visit to the bathroom was required. On the long journey through this luxurious restaurant, I passed by genuine Andy Warhol and Jean Michel Basquiat paintings. I entered the bathroom, and it was amazing. The decor is modern and minimal. The stalls are individual rooms with floor to ceiling stalls, equipped with doors that open like you’re on the Starship Enterprise. The “exotic foot flush” is a brilliant and sanitary alternative to the traditional flush method. The most impressive thing about these toilets are the televisions in the stall, so you can watch food network while you poop!
Cactus Club. 5 poops out of 5.
Sometimes I like to eat alone at diners and reflect upon all the choices I’ve made in life and think about all the people I’ve disappointed. Reno’s is a great diner to do that in! Located in the heart of Mount Pleasant, It’s usually very empty with just a few people enjoying their breakfasts alone.
On this particular visit, the constant refills of questionable coffee had caused me some gastrointestinal distress and I needed a toilet quick. This was one of the more horrifying bathrooms I’ve experienced. There were two stalls, one of which had no door at all. The other had no lock, but a shoelace tied to the door to keep it closed. The whole bathroom was grimy and graffitied. Instead of a soap dispenser, there was an old bottle of Franks Hot Sauce that had been filled with watered down dish soap that had dead bugs floating in it. Yuck!
Reno’s Diner. 1 poop out of 5.
The Olive Garden
It has long been a dream of mine to go to The Olive Garden and I’ve been hassling my poor boyfriend to take me out for a romantic dinner there since we started dating. He finally did, and it was totally amazing.
After enjoying a few too many endless breadsticks and a delicious authentic Italian meal, I made a quick trip to the bathroom and it did not fail to impress. The luxurious floor to ceiling stalls provide adequate privacy. The toilets are incredibly clean and well stocked. The decor is rustic and charming and with so many plants, it’s almost like you’re pooping in a garden. A garden of olives.
Olive Garden. 4 poops out of 5.BC, British Columbia, Cactus Club Burrard, doo doo, poop, Reno's Diner, shit, The Olive Garden, toilets