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Vanpooper – Log #13: Rating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets

Thursday 17th, December 2015 / 09:03
By Michelle Hanley

VANCOUVER —

The Old Spaghetti Factory

The Old Spaghetti Factory

The Old Spaghetti Factory

3 poops out of 5.

I love The Old Spaghetti Factory! It is my favourite place to eat a lot of free bread and moderately priced pasta dishes. It also has a train in the restaurant that you can eat your dinner in! How did they ever fit a train in a restaurant?

Not much has changed at the Old Spaghetti Factory, and their bathroom decor certainly hasn’t either. It’s charmingly decorated with classic movie posters. The stalls are relatively clean, though it is rather small and cramped. The restaurant is located in one of the most haunted buildings in the city, and is home to many ghosts. One of the ghosts allegedly haunts the ladies room and plays pranks on unsuspecting women! Spooky!

The Fairview

The Fairview

The Fairview

1 poop out of 5.

The Fairview is a pub in the neighbourhood of Fairview (duh). It is a pretty divey bar usually inhabited by average old white guys. But not on the night I paid a visit, for a group of touring Albertan male strippers were performing a sold-out show, and it was obviously amazing. There’s something about watching men exploit their sexuality for money that makes me feel like I’ve succeeded as a feminist.

The ladies room was obviously packed, all night. To make matters worse, one of the toilets was out of service because someone had pooped all over everything in the stall. My favourite part of the washroom, was that it had one of those fun vending machines that dispenses tampons, Tylenol, temporary tattoos, and also bubble gum flavoured condoms, all for a dollar. Wow!

The Foundation

The Foundation

The Foundation

2 poops out of 5.

The Foundation is a longstanding vegetarian eatery in Mount Pleasant. It is a great place if you love nachos but hate conversation, because the music is so loud all the time. Can’t you just turn down the volume a bit? Thanks.

The bathrooms here are confusing. There are doorless half-stalls in the back, which I think are for men. There’s another bathroom that I think is the women’s because of the abstract vagina painting on the door. At least I think it’s a vagina. Everything kind of looks like a vagina if you stare at it for long enough. Anyway, this bathroom has a lot of character. The walls are covered in graffiti that say things like “LISTEN TO SLAYER” and “USE A MENSTRUAL CUP,” two sentiments I fully support.

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