Vanpooper – Log #14: Rating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets

Thursday 21st, January 2016 / 02:00
By Michelle Hanley

VANCOUVER —

Edgewater Casino

Edgewater Casino

Edgewater Casino

5/5

Casinos are some of the best places to poop. They are easily accessible and open 24 hours. And with all the money that they make off the misfortune of unlucky gamblers like myself, they can afford some very glamorous bathrooms.

The Edgewater Casino at Canada Place in particular has some of the nicest facilities in town. There’s private floor-to-ceiling stalls and a vanity room. It is chic and modern. It is consistently clean, with an attendant in the bathroom at nearly all times. The privilege of using these bathrooms makes me feel ok about losing that $30 on the Kitty Glitter slot machine.

What’s Up? Hot Dog!

What's Up? Hot Dog!

What’s Up? Hot Dog!

4/5

What’s Up? Hot Dog! is a real gem. Newcomers to the Hastings Sunrise neighbourhood, they’ve got pinball and beer and waffle fries and also a hotdog with macaroni and cheese on top and you seriously need to try this thing. It is great.

What’s Up? is also home to the most entertaining bathrooms I’ve ever been in. There’s a drum kit right in front of the toilet so you can play it while you poop to keep yourself entertained and to effectively hide any embarrassing poop sounds. There’s also a mini basketball hoop so you can slam dunk your used paper towels into the garbage bin! It is the most fun I’ve ever had pooping. Thanks What’s Up? Hot Dog!

Pub 340

Pub 340

Pub 340

2/5

Pub 340 is a legendary dive bar in Gastown. It’s home to some great pinball, amazing karaoke, and some very affordable but arguably questionable draft beer.

The bathrooms here are pretty bizarre. The walls are painted entirely black, heavily graffitied, and nearly every surface has a mirror on it, including the walls inside the bathroom stalls which is perfect for touching up your makeup or picking something out of your teeth in privacy. But Pub 340 is a proper dive and, like most dives, it’s pretty damn dingy and their toilets could use a real good scrub.

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