By Michelle Hanley
Anton’s Pasta Bar – 4/5
It is a new year and that means New Year’s Resolutions. Every year mine is to eat more pasta. I’m really good at keeping that one because of places like Anton’s Pasta Bar. Anton’s is a place that serves so much pasta that, if you actually finish your meal, you get a pen! I got the pen once. It was the best day. OK, so I got the pen, but I did end up puking just a bit in their beautiful bathroom. The bathrooms here were very clean and well maintained, though the hot water tap was scorching hot. There was a sign warning about the heat of the water, but it was still shocking. My favourite thing about these bathrooms were the ads for toilet paper with complimentary $2 off coupons! This was some of the best bathroom marketing I’ve ever seen. Way to go Anton’s. 4 poops out of 5.
Cartems Donuterie – 3/5
My whole life is a struggle between my love of artisanal donuts and my hatred of gentrification. Cartems is a great place to go when you feel like spending four dollars on the best damn donut in town. Sure, you could get a dozen day-olds from Duffin’s at that price but those aren’t going to be locally sourced, vegan and gluten-free.
I visited the bathrooms after a gaggle of yoga moms aggressively stole my table. The bathroom was quite beautiful, covered in lovely donut art, but the amenities were disappointing. There was no toilet paper dispenser, just a loose roll on the floor. And the toilet was mostly broken. You really had to hold down the lever to make it work. If I’m going to be taking out a small loan to pay for a donut, I demand complete luxury! Cartems Donuts. 3 poops out of 5.
Rogers Arena – 2/5
The last time I was at Rogers Arena it was still called GM Place and I was a punk rock pre-teen princess attending an Avril Lavigne concert. A lot has changed since then. I recently attended a sports game there to drink 16-dollar beers and watch our local hockey team lose again. Go Canucks Go!
After all those very overpriced beers, a visit to bathroom was desperately needed. The trek to the bathroom was daunting, down many dizzying flights of stairs. The lines were long, and the bathroom was covered in a huge advertisement for the latest Coldplay album, which was very effective advertising as I had no idea Coldplay had a new album! Definitely going to download that one. But the bathrooms were pretty nasty and smelled like nacho cheese and recently regurgitated Molson Canadian. Gross. GM Place. I mean, Rogers Arena. 2 poops out of 5.Anton's Pasta Bar, BC, British Columbia, Cartems Donuterie, doo doo, poop, Rogers Arena, shit, toilets, washrooms