Vanpooper – Log #18: Rating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets

Wednesday 01st, June 2016 / 14:24
By Michelle Hanley

VANCOUVER —

Café Deux Soleils
4/5

Café Deux Soleils

Café Deux Soleils

Café Deux Soleils is a popular eatery on Commercial Drive. It’s got a great veggie burger and a nice little patio that is the perfect spot for watching patchouli scented and dreadlocked white people hula hooping on the sidewalk outside. The last time I was here I watched a dude simultaneously smoke a joint while drinking from a carton of almond milk. It was amazing and also so terrible.

The bathrooms here once had a reputation of being some of the grimiest and most graffitied in the city, but no longer. The recent renovations have them sparkling! It’s consistently clean and always well stocked. There are three different bathrooms so there’s never a wait. Café Deux Soleils? More like Café Poo Soleils! Because it is a great place to poo.

YVR Airport
2/5

YVR Airport

YVR Airport

YVR is one of the country’s busiest airports. It is also home to what is said to be one of the nicest bathrooms in Canada. It has been shortlisted for the Canadian bathroom awards (how do I get on the panel for that?) and has been recommended to me numerous times.

Maybe I went to the wrong bathroom though because I was terribly disappointed. The bathrooms smelled so bad! A terrible combination of desperate poops held in after long plane rides and gross e-cigs, confirmed by the empty e-cig packages on the ground of the bathroom stall. It was poorly maintained and cluttered. It did however have a fun vending machine complete with ”rude rhino” brand Canadian flag temporary tattoos. Airports are weird.

Funky Winker Beans
3/5

Funky Winker Beans

Funky Winker Beans

Funky Winker Beans is a cool and grimy dive bar that has great karaoke and questionable hot dogs. I like to come here to increase my punk credibility and drink very, very cheap beers. It also has the best name of any bar in the whole city.

The bathroom at Funky’s is not bad at all! It is surprisingly well lit, perfect for mirror selfies. It smelled shockingly pleasant and its walls were covered in dainty floral tiles, reminiscent of my sweet grandmother’s bathroom. It was relatively clean and well stocked despite it being such a dive. Is the wonderful state of the bathroom at Funky Winker Beans proof of further gentrification in the DTES? Either way, it makes for a great place to poop.

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