By Kathleen McGee
VANCOUVER — It’s that time of year! The time for parades, men dressed as Trojan soldiers handing out free condoms and the celebration of loving who you want! It’s time to celebrate Pride. Ever since my first Pride celebration over 10 years ago I’ve watched it grow and grow. I’ve celebrated Pride in Edmonton, Calgary, Toronto, Vancouver and West Hollywood. Ok West Hollywood was Halloween but it was pretty much a more elaborate Pride event. I’m not a lesbian, although I’ve considered it. And of course I’ve experimented, but it’s not how I’m wired. There’s no way to change how you feel. That’s why Pride exists. I celebrate Pride because I grew up a drama nerd. I had friends who I knew were gay but in the late ’90s it was still not something you talked about. The first Pride parade I attended I think I was 24. I saw a group of high school kids marching and I cried like a proud mom. I can’t say exactly what Pride means to someone that is gay but to me it’s about acceptance and the celebration that every year more and more people see it as love and that’s it.
You will need essentials if you want to celebrate Pride right. First off, you need to stay hydrated. The older I get the more important I realize this is. You can’t blow your whole weekend on one lame hangover. Hydrating can also mean having two gulps of your water and then dumping the rest on your head. Being sprayed with Supersoakers by men wearing angel wings and white booty shorts also counts.
You need glitter! Boys and girls, glitter is essential because it has the power to make you feel magical and you’ll have reminders of how much fun you had for months when you’re still finding bits of it in your clothing and around your house in November. I’m 35 and I try to wear glitter every day. It makes me smile and it’s an excellent repellent for married men.
Be ready to hug. Every Pride I’ve ever been to has been filled with lots of hugs and laughs. Another bonus of hugging men at Pride is that, as a woman, you know they’re hugging you because they want a hug, not because they want to press up against your boobs. This is not the place to not embrace the hug.
Something that’s always fun to bring is unwanted and uninvited dick pics. I can’t think of a better place to show off your collection and laugh about it than with a group of your favourite gay best friends. I’ve done this and it’s very entertaining. A small message for the dick pic senders out there: don’t send them. We show them to everyone and laugh at them. Send them only if we’ve asked because we use those ones for the purpose they’re intended for. Women are perverts too.
The main thing we all need to remember about Pride is that it’s a celebration of love and a time to embrace your friends and family who can finally, now more than ever, be the person they were born to be. The recent terrifying and cowardly events in our world only accentuate the importance of loving everyone for who they are. We are all humans and we all deserve to love who we want, enjoy a parade and get drunk in public then cry when our six-month crush lets us down easy. It happens every Pride.
Kathleen McGee has a podcast called Kathleen McGee is a Hot Mess and you should listen to it! Visit www.kathleenmcgee.ca for more.BC, British Columbia, Kathleen McGee, Pride, stand-up comedy