By Carlotta Gurl
VANCOUVER — Carlotta Gurl is a drag performer and entertainer. With over 20 years experience she is stepping out into the world to answer your life questions, no matter the situations, she won’t judge because she has been there and done THAT.
I’ve low key been with my boyfriend for five months and we’ve managed to keep it a secret from all our friends. But now he wants to go public and I’m afraid losing the danger will ruin the excitement of the relationship. How do I tell him he’s hotter as a dirty little secret than my cute everyday buddy?
Mystery Makes Me Moan
Dear Mystery Makes Me Moan,
First of all, do you want a boyfriend or a lover? Identify the parameters of this relationship. If he wants this to be something serious and go further, and you just want the once in a while fuck buddy, of which I have several, then you have different wants and you need to talk about that. Talk to your partner, he may want what you want but not know you want it! Find the frequency you’re both on and plug in your speakers and go for it.
As a male, who cross-dresses and enjoys feeling feminine, I find it difficult to connect with gay men or straight men. I’m either too femme for the one or too male for the other. Is this alienation from both camps a risk or hazard to anyone entering the world of relationships, or do relationships take on a different slant whereas cross-dressers are concerned?
Dear Love Lost,
Go online and look for sites that cater to these thoughts. Tons of support groups exist where you can explore this deeper. There’s also lots of literature on this subject which can help u tackle this. There are many different people out there looking for many different things which lends credence to the phrase “variety is the spice of life.” If you’re patient and take your time to look for the right person who will accept you as you, in all your resplendent beauty, then you will find it was well worth the effort. I have found that in my many myriad romantic relationships that being open to the possibilities can lead to wondrous results.
My father and I are both gay and we find the same guys hot. How did I make sure we don’t fuck the same guys?
It Runs In The Family
Dear It Runs In The Family,
This is an instance where “share and share alike” is not relevant. Talk to each other about where you like to go to meet men and try to avoid each other’s general haunts. This is really a question of how open you are with each other about your sex lives. For example, “Hey dad, I’m really into this guy I met last week, here’s his pic, you haven’t slept with him, have you?” and if he has, maybe he can give you some fatherly advice about him. If there are any real hot daddies you’re both into and don’t wanna fight over just send them Carlotta’s way and she’ll make sure he’s well taken care of.
What advice would you give to someone who is wanting to kick their “imposter syndrome’s” ass?
Own Worst Enemy
Dear Own Worst Enemy,
This little voice needs you to take the reigns of life, you need to inform the imposter that you are strong. Inner demons are in us all, if you embrace them and make them a part of your character you can work with them. If they tear you down, then tell them to shut the fuck up and get out, be powerful. Now if your imposter voice is as big and as pushy as Carlotta you might as well give in! bitches like that never shut up.
Thank you Lovers, see you next month!
If you have a life question or need advice and want to ask Carlotta, Please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Carlotta can be found at The Barron Gurl Show on Wednesdays at the Junction, Full-Length Feature Fridays at the Odyssey, and Absolutely Dragulous on Saturdays at the Junction.BC, British Columbia, Carlotta Gurl, cross-dressing, drag, imposter syndrome, LGBT, LGBT advice, mutual generational attractions, secret relationship