Vanpooper – Log #22: Rating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets

Thursday 22nd, September 2016 / 10:28
By Michelle Hanley

VANCOUVER —

Air Canada

Air Canada airplane toilet

Air Canada airplane toilet

1 poop out of 5

Flying in a plane is crazy and also a thing that humans just aren’t supposed to do. The fact that we have an option to poop while 35,000 ft. in the sky is especially crazy. Where does the poop go when you press that button? Is it true that if you flush the toilet on a plane while sitting on it your bowels will get sucked in?

On this particular flight from Vancouver to Toronto, the bathroom was a goddamn nightmare — long line-ups, the tiniest stall, toilet paper was everywhere. Everything about the experience was absolutely terrible and from now on I will always wait until I’m safe on the ground to use the toilet.

Winners (Cambie Street)

Winners (Cambie Street)

Winners (Cambie Street)

2 poops out of 5

I love shopping at Winners! This discount retailer has the best section of scented candles, ugly designer shoes and ill-fitting $6 bras. I usually spend hours hunting through the aisles for deals here, which means there’s always an inevitable trip to the toilet.

The bathroom at Winners is truly bizarre. There is a ratty old office chair in the middle of the bathroom that serves no purpose. There are multiple signs reminding people not to flush diapers down the toilet, which seems more than obvious. It could benefit from some decorative pieces from their houseware department because it lacks any sort of interior design. Winners. You shouldn’t go.

Science World

Science World

Science World

4 poops out of 5

This floating geodesic dome sits at the end of False Creek and was originally built for Expo 86. It’s now an overpriced tourist attraction that teaches kids about science and stuff.

The bathroom here is great because every one of the stalls has a fun and gross toilet fact. My stall told me that humans fart out anywhere from 1 cup to half a gallon of farts every day! Humans are truly amazing. The bathroom was very clean and had plenty of amenities. It was also well stocked and maintained. Plus there are plenty of stalls so there’s never a wait, even when there’s a whole field trips worth of kids in there.

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