Vanpooper – Log #24: Rating the best (and worst) of Vancouver’s public toilets

Friday 25th, November 2016 / 10:40
By Michelle Hanley

VANCOUVER —

JJ Bean Commercial (revisited)

JJ Bean Commercial

JJ Bean Commercial

5 poops out of 5

Can you believe it’s been two years since Vanpooper debuted in BeatRoute? Wow! In Vanpooper #1 I gave a scathing review to the JJ Bean on Commercial Drive, but they finally renovated their disgusting bathrooms and it’s time for an update.

These bathrooms were once horrifying nightmares. Broken toilets, holes in the wall and some of the most obscene graffiti west of Bon’s Off Broadway. But now they are sparkling and shining and new with beautiful tiles and brand new toilets. There’s even a hook to hang your coat and bag up while you poop. They’ve also finally added a used needle bin because harm reduction is so great and important. I’m very impressed with how this JJ Bean has turned its toilets around.

La Cuisson

La Cuisson

La Cuisson

4 poops out of 5

Did you know that there’s a cafe in the city that makes coffee out of cat poop?? It’s true! Kopi Luwak is made from the digested coffee beans that wild Indonesian civet cats poop out. I went all the way to La Cuisson in Kerrisdale to try it but then I realized it was 60 dang bucks a cup and I don’t know if cat poop coffee aligns with my vegan morals. Oh well.

The bathroom at La Cuisson is adorably decorated with fake flowers and cute paintings. It brilliantly utilizes an old coffee barrel as a garbage can. It was spectacularly clean and well stocked. A great place to poop, and a great place to spend a small fortune on coffee made of poop.

Gene

Gene

Gene

3 poops out of 5

Gene is a cute little coffee shop in the coolest building in Mount Pleasant. This triangularly shaped cafe on Kingsway and Main is home to some famously grumpy baristas and some very weird bathrooms.

Due to the odd shape of this building, the bathrooms here are naturally strange. There are two very small bathrooms. The one I went to was bright and clean. It cleverly had bits of chalkboard paint on the walls to discourage graffiti, which is a brilliant touch. The mirror was broken in half, but it seemed like it could have been an intentionally quirky piece of bathroom interior design by the Emily Carr students who work there. Not an awful place to poop, but there are definitely better coffee shop toilets on Main Street.

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