By Adrianna Hepper
VANCOUVER — Patrons and participants of all musics loud, heavy, aggressive, and sweaty: what, I pray thee, is our deal with us dissolving into helpless, baby-talk babbling softies the second a cat comes into view? What compels us to swaddle a filthy stray in the warmth of our most beloved battle jacket without a second thought, or transition from smashing a drum kit to patting out a lengthy drum-bum solo hilariously on our dogs’ butts?
Many of us heavy music lovers also love to support pet rescues – could it be as musical underdogs we feel a particular affinity for the real… underdogs?
Whatever the reason, oi! We bloody love our pets! And here to prove it are four local badass musicians confessing their love for their widdle furbabies.
- What kind of pet do you have, and what is its name?
- Tell us one totally ridiculous thing you do/have done for your pet.
- Tell us a brief story of your pet being a true ass-hat.
- What’s your most hilarious or embarrassing pet name for your pet?
- If your pet were reincarnated as a human, who are you pretty sure it would come back as based on its personality?
Guitarist and Vocalist
- Snoop Lion is a “felis catus,” otherwise known as a “domesticated cat.”
- I once spent five hours wrapping a 2×4″ in twine to make him an adequate scratching post. Halfway through the process I had to grab a pair of gardening gloves to keep my hands from blistering.
- Following a recent minor operation, Snoop had to wear a cone and stay inside for ten days. He protested by pissing on my expensive MEC raincoat.
- Shikapoo, Shikapuss, and Mr. Meow (who wants his morning meats). Recently I’ve also started calling him Psycho Dink.
- Back in time, Snoop Lion would probably turn up as a Viking, Pirate, or maybe a Samurai. If it were a future reincarnation, probably a secret agent eager to hunt and kill his enemies, yet loyal and loving to his allies.
The Waning Light
- My dog is a rat terrier named Princess Slaya.
- I make little blanket forts for her. It just kills me to see her little head poking out.
- While camping last summer, Slaya unzipped the tent and bolted at 4:00am. Having derided our white trash neighbours for having lost their six year old the previous evening, now we were the dickwads waking everyone up looking for the damned dog.
- Frequently I tell her that she’s “Dada’s number one girl.” Neither Mrs. Sage nor our daughter, Haida, are impressed.
- Slaya would be that neurotic stoner that’s worried about everything but can’t be arsed to even get off the couch.
The Mountain Man
- I have a big German shepherd named Loki.
- When I’m eating spaghetti, I like to share and hope for a Lady and the Tramp-type scene. It never ends up that way.
- If Loki isn’t monitored when he’s doing his business, he will eat said business. Once, after chomping down some delicious fecal matter, he ran up and licked my friend’s arms and white shirt.
- My girlfriend constantly calls him Tuna Lips because his breath always smells like sour fish (laughs).
- Do cartoon characters count? Because he’s totally got Yogi Bear’s demeanour, “Duhhhhhhhh.”
- I have a 30-pound Maine Coon cat named Sunrise.
- I occasionally buy him expensive wet dog food, so that I can heckle him for eating the same food as a poodle or tiny Yaletown dog.
- I have literally watched Sunrise fight three cats simultaneously. He won, they backed away. He also bullied another cat of mine so bad that it peed all over the house from stress. He likes to dominate.
- “SUNBOY!” said in as high pitched a voice as possible.
- John Goodman in his fattest and most surely role.
To pinch the cheeks of these hopeless, pet-loving musicians in person, come down to Diecemberfest, Dec. 9 at the Russian Hall in Vancouver where they’ll all be playing. Bring a food item for pets (SPCA) or for humans (Food Bank) to be entered to win good stuff from local businesses!
Adrianna Hepper is cat-mum to E. Van’s wildest little rock n roller Yngwie Meowmsteen, and founder of PetFam.com. Sign up to safely connect with other loving, nearby pet parents for free pet sitting exchange!BC, British Columbia, Diecember Fest, musicians' pets, pets