From the Desk of Carlotta Gurl: February 2017

Thursday 09th, February 2017 / 16:48
By Carlotta Gurl

Photo: Graham Spence

VANCOUVER — Hello, all my beautiful peeps, and welcome back to the Gurl’s inner sanctum of sinful queries and decadent thoughts. This month I find myself engrossed with ideas about the act of hooking up and casual sexual encounters; a topic that a modern day sex goddess like myself takes great pride in being versed in.

Sex can be a very powerful tool in breaking down the barriers that hold people back from being who they are. Would I be considered a sex therapist? Hardly. Have I used sex as therapy? Absolutely. I can recall many situations where sex was very beneficial past the obvious physical gratification and release, but one in particular stands out in my mind which I feel behooved to share with you all.

I have enjoyed the company of many men over the years, but I helped one particular individual deal with more than just his sexual inhibitions. At the time I didn’t realize the man was married and when I found out, I wanted to end it; but before doing so I confronted him. After our talk it was clear that he felt his wife would understand his needs and fantasies. I counselled him and encouraged him to speak with her and just as I suspected: she was open to it. The miscommunication and estrangement came to an end and they became engrossed in each other once more.

And that is how Carlotta Gurl saved a marriage through sex by being the other woman. Who would have thought it?

With all the apps on our phones these days the age old art of hooking up is dead. We no longer are required to dress up and go out and make small talk. We can instead resort to “looking right now,” “can you host?” and the best yet: “dick here now.”

The best is seeing the faces in the audience at my shows of the men I have rocked at the tubs the night before. Because that is how butch I am out of drag; dick swinging, you would never know that it is not the perfect female illusionist Carlotta behind that bathhouse sodomy. Whether we want to, or can, admit it, hooking up is a part of our culture. Gay or straight, young or old, vanilla or kink, we are all just horn dogs who deserve love and carnal pleasures. I hope if you are reading this you are having fabulous sex as I will be as soon as I am done this column.

Gonna keep this conclusion short: come see the six year anniversary of my show Absolutely Dragulous at Junction nightclub Saturday, Feb. 25 (and every Saturday for that matter). Happy fucking, Dahlings!

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