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Calpurnia Ride The New New Indie Wave With Sensibility

Calpurnia Ride The New New Indie Wave With Sensibility

by Adam Deane Chances are, if you attended post-secondary on this continent, this Vancouver 4-piece’s moniker will ring a tiny…

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2018 Oscar Predictions

Thursday 01st, March 2018 / 19:56
by Hogan Short

Funniest Movie
The Big Sick, 9/11 talks, brain damage gibberish, like Daniel Day Lewis except he sucks.

Scariest Movie
Get Out, I can’t give you the keys babe, running grandpa, sunken place.

Worst Decision
The Last Jedi for leaving Leia floating around in space.

Best Decision
All the Money in the World for replacing Kevin Spacey.

Best End Credits
Call Me by Your Name, Elio’s cry.

Saddest Moment
Stronger, when the entire theatre heard me sobbing.

Best Performance by a Kid
Farrah Mackenzie, Logan Lucky.

Best Kill/Death
Brawl in Cell Block 99, Foot Stomp and Drag.

Best Trailer
The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

Best Sex Scene
Blade Runner 2049, that boring but still pretty cool hologram/robot threesome.

Best Soundtrack
Lady Bird, Back to the ‘90s with Timberlake, Dave Matthews Band, and Alanis Morissette.

Best Use of Swearing
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri, “This didn’t put an end to shit, you fucking retard this is just the start. Why don’t you put that on your Good Morning Missouri fucking wake up broadcast, bitch?”

Best Cry
Ben Stiller, The Meyerwitz Stories.

Best Scene
Call Me by Your Name, Michael Stuhlbarg’s monologue. “Nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spots.”

Best Acting Moment
I, Tonya, Margot Robbie as Tonya Harding smiling and crying in the mirror.

Best Film without a Single Oscar Nomination
Wind River

Worst Film
Collateral Beauty, Please watch it though, because WOW!