By Jeevin Johal
WARNING: The planet is in extreme danger! Global warming, Russian satellites, and North Korean nuclear weapons are no longer our world’s biggest threat, as hydroponic botanists and local musicians have come together to discover something much more detrimental deep within the cosmos of our galaxy.
A dense black, tarry entity is amassing fierce metal speed and potent stoner rock grooves, as it hurtles towards the Earth at an alarming rate. The time has come to gather your loved ones, loot dispensaries, and source the loudest possible speakers you can get your filthy mitts on, and seek shelter in grandpa’s underground, World War 2 era bunker.
For on the morning of April 20th, 2018, the skies will turn from clear blue, to hazy green, causing eyes to squint, smiles to widen and heads to bang. Drums will roar like thunder, bass riffs will rattle the Earth’s core, and guitars will shred destructively as a Hashteroid, larger than human comprehension, will pummel the Earth with deafening force and pure rock n’ roll power.album premiere, Hashteroid